18 Dec 2020 - Graham
previously: postcard 5: superstition mountains, arizona
Sedona is my favorite place, so far, and also my lowest mood.
I’m giddy on arrival. Sedona’s bright red-pink-orange rocks leap out from behind the yellow hills I’d been driving through since Phoenix. Google tells me there’s great deals to be had on hotels, including one that offers much-needed laundry, so I treat myself and then immediately head for the famous mountain bike trails that brought me here. I don’t think I’ve ever had more fun on a bike (sorry, polo).
But the next morning, I find myself in a malaise. Perhaps it’s a hangover from the thrill of the excellent trails. Perhaps it’s just that time of the month for my brain. Or perhaps it’s a reaction to the comfort of staying in a hotel. Although a real bed was a welcome relief, the approximation of home seems to make me more homesick. I find myself asking a version of the classic road trip question: “Why aren’t we there yet?”
My feelings might be best described as “inertia.” I’ve noticed milder versions of this inertia: my resistance to leaving the warmth of a sleeping bag when I need to pee in the middle of the night, or my refusal to stop the car to eat. It’s a feeling that helps me add more activities to full days and slows me down on this dreary morning.
Sedona’s beauty both encourages and discourages. I should be out there! Which makes me feel worse about not being out there. Eventually the guilt leads me out for a walk, which improves my mood dramatically. After a snack, nap, and coffee I spend the afternoon biking more challenging trails, and allow myself to enjoy a night of terrible TV movies and take-out without guilt.
next post: postcard 7: joshua tree