kudzu

08 Nov 2021 - Graham

previously: sylvan esso

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Ross B. shares my skepticism about video games:

If it was like, 1 hour a day, capped, feels good, move on, that’s it. Great. Maybe there is a role, but I think most people can’t do that.

E shared a similar experience with YouTube’s absorbing algorithm and K-Pop:

It felt like harmless distraction and entertainment, but then MULTIPLE hours would pass and I felt like I had entered another plane of existence—one that was better and more interesting than my own. When I would step back… everything felt kinda dull in comparison.


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Kudzu

The wise Philosopher-Psychologist William James teaches that we are what we repeatedly do, including what we repeatedly attend to. By the accumulation of our actions and attentions, we create ourselves.

we are thus mere bundles of habit, we are stereotyped creatures, imitators and copiers of our past selves.

Habit is formed by choices, repeated. And strong habits replace choice. This is a blessing. We would be perpetually exhausted if we had to decide how to act every moment, to weigh all the pros and cons, to rediscover the route each trip.

Habits are desirable, foundational. And since addiction is clearly destructive and undesirable, we cannot define addiction as habit.

Nor can we define addiction as dependency. We cannot escape dependency. We would die in a social vacuum almost as quickly as we would be crushed by the vacuum of space. We are hooked on oxygen, vegetables, and love; each releases powerful chemicals that keep us coming back for more.

But if neither dependency nor habit defines it, what is addiction?

–&–

Perhaps addictions are like weeds.

If you ask a gardener what a weed is, they might point to the grass crowding their carrots. But if you moved to the lawn, they’d likely change their story. In the lawn, grass is the whole point; there, dandelions are the weeds. Unless, of course, the gardener enjoys a dandelion green salad.

Thus, a weed is not any particular plant, but rather our judgement about a plant. A weed is a plant out of place.

Perhaps an addiction is a habit out of place.

–&–

Consider, my morning coffee.

To be sure, I chemically depend on caffeine. Without it, I am unpleasant and distracted company. When the high wears off, I need a nap.

Then again, I love a nap. And the other downsides are minimal. It doesn’t seem to harm my body or mind. And coffee is cheap, legal, and easy to obtain.

Perhaps, for you, coffee is a weed. But I must insist that I am not addicted to coffee.

My coffee is not an addiction, but rather a beloved ritual. Every morning grinding and brewing the beans. Pouring it into just the right mug for the day. Always adding plenty of cream. And never drinking after 2p, unless of course I’m trying to party.

Coffee improves my life. It lights my brain up. It sweetens the sound of music; it eases the challenge of writing; it reveals the wisdom of books. In short, it helps me pursue my other projects. In short, coffee is a habit in the perfect place.

–&–

According to AA, only the drinker themself can determine if they are an alcoholic.

Like much of AA’s democratic and practical advice, this resonates with my experience. Both times that I quit video games the decisive break was only possible after I admitted to myself that I was an addict.

Every gardener must draw the line between plant and weed for themself. So must we all distinguish between the habits that make us and the addictions that unmake us.

–&–

So how do I distinguish coffee from video games?

The distinction is this: jealousy.

Like many successful plants, weeds tend to further the conditions of their own success. Weeds are jealous plants. Crabgrass, for example, out-competes carrots by stealing soil nutrients.

Similarly, addictions are jealous habits.

Like all jealousies, they flourish amidst disorder and doubt and disruption. Kudzu so thrives in the cotton-depleted landscape of the Mississippi Delta that it is said to grow faster than it can be destroyed. So have video games (and K-Pop and Twitter) thrived in the socially-depleted world of lockdown.


Tuneage

As always, I’ll be on KRUA tomorrow (Tuesday) at 2p AKT. If you missed last week’s show, here’s the recording.

My favorite way to find music is artist playlists. Jason B. recommends Jacob Collier’s excellent mix.

next post: in a silent way